As parents, have we lost track in our understanding of modernity?

21st century children are different from children of the past. While their IQ (Intelligent quotient) is high compared to the older generation; but their EQ (Emotion quotient) is low, being hampered with less parental time and attention, skip stages in their development. Advancement in technology today has become a part of us and our lifestyle today whether we like it or not. Our homes are crammed with devices and electronic gadgets that previous generations couldn't even dream of. Surely our children should be growing happier every year isn’t?

It’s essential in childhood for the emotional stability, which largely comes from feeling cared-for and secure. As children grow older, emotional security is associated with regularity and routine, such as family meals or togetherness. Most growing children after spending majority of their day in schools or tuitions’, come back home, and often sit in front of an TV. As they grow older, even when the family is in the same house, members are splintered off from each other with TVs in each rooms. Ironically, in a world where there are more ways to communicate than ever before, parents communicate less and less with their own children.

While, children need to learn communication skills which is one of the essential part in emotional and social development. Today, the need of verbal communication is replaced by the technology. The method used by our parents singing lullaby and talking to us as babies, was to awaken the language instinct wired deep in the human brain and connect them for learning to speak their mother tongue. If adults don't spend time with their children, can communication skills develop as they should? Is TV, Youtube music the right substitute for this? Is sms, chat, social media are more effortless means of communication? Are these adversely affecting our value system?

There are many evidences of studies and live cases which some of our doctors have come across, which have revealed that children who watch too much television and spend hours on the internet are seen often "greedy and unhappy". These children have the tendency to argue more with their families, have a lower opinion of their parents, and lower self-esteem than other children," the report said.

Another area of concern is the food. The "obesity explosion" of present years with modern eating habits shows that society - parents, manufacturers, marketers, has probably lost sight.

When it comes to physical activity, we've confused our kids with over-protection, denying them essential opportunities to learn from real-life experience. Ideally, children need to play in a relaxed, unstructured way, preferably outdoors with other children and - as they grow older - away from the eyes of the adults. The need for play is built into the DNA of all higher animals. This also helps learning how to take "safe risks" and make their own judgments, thus developing independence and self-reliance.

Have we as parents somewhere lost track in our understanding of modernity? We are teaching our kids for screen-based existence. PlayStation, GameBoy and gazing TV, have become our children’s play, games and gazing hobbies. The screen appears to be ever-present, particularly during meal times in many houses. Children often gets pressure of very aggressive advertising. This, in turn, creates a generation of mini-consumers who want everything they see on screen and equate happiness with materialism. "Safe" in their bedrooms, our youngsters are learning about life from the people they see on screens - pop stars, celebrities and other attention-seekers. And the message those celebrities and marketers sell is that happiness comes from being rich and famous, and a "cool" lifestyle. All these changes in children's lifestyles are the unintended consequences of rapid social and cultural change, driven by new technology and an increasingly competitive consumer society. All these are happening in such a fast pace that we didn't even notice them happening.

Let’s become aware of the problem of childhood unhappiness. There's no reason why we can't find a solution. Since we know what's necessary for bringing up happy, healthy, successful children, a society as advanced as ours should be able to provide it.

Let’s wake up, become wiser, stop being paralyzed by these rapid change, uncertainty and guilt, and find new ways to provide a secure, healthy family life for our kids. Unless, very soon, we start attending to the well-being of our children and tackle the growing problems with their mental health, the next generation may not be bright or balanced enough to keep our economy healthy and our nation together.

It's up to us as parents - supported by our wider community, should help them towards maturity, gradually equipping them with the inner strength, skills and knowledge they need to live in a complex technological culture. When ‘I’ becomes “We” as a community, illness can change to Wellness. 

-By B G Roopa Lakshmi, Founder & Director, WELLBEEING, Integrated Health Centre, Bangalore